Apologia Educational Ministries presents Flourish: Balance for Homeschool Moms. Written for moms by homeschooling veteran Mary Jo Tate, Flourish is the ultimate guide to finding overall balance in not just homeschooling but life as a mom in general. Mary Jo has homeschooled her four boys at home since 1997. She’s the host of the “Flourish at home” show on the Ultimate Homeschool Radio Network (free online audio shows) and the author of How Do You Do It All?
I received the physical book to review, which is available for $15.00 on the Apologia website. Sixteen chapters and 288 pages in length, this softback book is packed full of encouragement, organizational ideas, applicable Bible verses, time-management helps and so much more. She also includes lots of recommended resources and planning forms.
The chapters include:
1. An Invitation to Flourish
2. Change Your Mind to Change Your Time
3. The FREEDOM Toolbox
4. Where Did My Time Go?
5. Aim High: Setting Goals
6. What Do I Do Next? : Seven Essential Planning Tools
7. We Interrupt This Program
8. It’s Time for an Attitude Adjustment
9. Oxygen Masks and Monkey Bread Days
10. Training Your Children
11. Making Memories
12. Managing Your Home
13. All of Life is Learning
14. Solo Act: Flourishing as a Single Mom
15. Home Business
16. Moving Ahead
I have to admit that when I sat down to write this review, I struggled. There is such an abundance of good information in this book that I couldn’t decide where to start or what to include because I wanted to include it all! Of course, I probably shouldn’t do that so I settled to just share some of my favorite takeaways and what impacted me that most.
First and foremost, the entire theme of this book is based on one reoccurring statement: Find peace in the space between the ideal and reality. We all have expectations… some realistic, some not so much. She is so right, finding the peace between those two could very well be secret we homeschool moms need to hear.
I am a list and schedule maker at heart. I have made more schedules that I can count and my poor kids have had to endure it all. With each new schedule we have come a little bit closer to that place between my ideal and reality. One of the great ideas Mary Jo shares about time-management (or for me, schedule making) is evaluating the detailed circumstances of your life.
She helps you break things down into three categories:
1. Irreducible facts- what you can’t change2. Non-negotiables- what you won’t change
3. Preferences- what you can and will change
Identifying the three kids of circumstances helps us prioritize what must stay and what can go or be outsourced or delegated.
“Productivity is never an accident. It is always the result of a commitment to excellence, intelligent planning and focused effort.” Paul J. Meyer
FREEDOM is an acronym Mary Jo uses for meeting all the various challenges and obligations in life:
Focus: What is it that only you can do? What is it that only you can do?
Reflect: How will you set aside some quite time alone to reflect (brainstorm, stay in the Word, meditate on what you can or should change)?
Educate: Are you sharpening you skills and broadening your life?
Eliminate: What activities do you need to stop? What opportunities do you need to say no to (she gives a reminder throughout the book that when we say yes to something we say no to everything else at that exact moment)?
Discipline: How would you rate your level of self-discipline? Are you abusing your freedom and flexibility?
Organize: Is your life generally organized or disorganized? How can you do a better job of organizing your time, tasks, thoughts and things?
Multi-task: Is mental multitasking undermining your focus? What are some ways you can multitask effectively by combining physical tasks with lighter mental tasks?
Of course, there is so much more to these 7 FREEDOM Tools. Where I summarized them in a few lines, she uses a whole 16 page chapter! Her ideas are truly ones to be slowly chewed and swallowed.
"Really creative, innovative thinking seems to come out of chaos more often than out of neatnik organization, but the successful implementation of innovative ideas seems to come about in a most organized, disciplined way." Dan Kennedy, Entrepreneur
Thinking big is another of her excellent tidbits. Why settle for what comes easy and naturally? However, having two toddlers and a baby on the way in August, thinking big is a bit outside of my range right now. There are some days that if baths and supper get done and everyone survives- I count it a good day. Mary Jo has this to say on the matter, "If you're in the early years of having babies and training toddlers, just getting a decent night's sleep can seem like an unattainable aspiration. Bringing up children well and creating a loving, vibrant home are important jobs with real eternal significance. Don't lose sight of this on the inevitable hard days. Thinking big will look different at different stages of life." I think she and I could be friends. :)
Her Seven Essential Planning Tools are:
1. Big Dream
2. Yearly Goals
3. Monthly Calendar
4. Weekly Plan
5. Daily Tasks
6. Running To-Do List
7. Stop-Doing List
Along with thorough explanations of each of these tools and how they work together, there are samples in the back of the book and if you purchase the book, there are free customizable, downloadable forms on a website for you to use.
At the beginning of the Attitude Adjustment chapter, she warns you to put your steel-toed boots on because your toes are bound to get stepped on! She covers 7 possible needs for attitude adjustments:
- Guilt
- Fear
- Perfectionism
- Whining
- Resentment
- Self-Righteousness
- Negativity
As I got about half way through the chapter, I was almost patting myself on the back for not really dealing with the first four attitude problems. Then she just had to go and talk about Resentment (where are my boots?).
Mary Jo questions... Have you ever envied another mom? (Guilty)
Have you resented something she has that you lack, such as a supportive husband lavish vacations, more children, fewer children, housekeeping help, an ample book budget, free time, music lessons for her children, beautiful clothes, a bigger house, nicer neighborhood, good health, boundless energy, or help from her extended family?
While not all of those apply to me, a good third of them are things I have struggled with.
She goes on to say, "So often we don't know other people's struggles. The apparently abundant life of your local Supermom my hide challenges you can't even imagine. She may need your compassion, not your envy." Wow. How true is that? Her probing heart questions really make you think about not just your private thoughts but actions too. Maybe instead of secretly resenting someone in our minds over trivial things, we ought to see how we can help or pray for her.
Making peace with your own homemaking style was another good point for me. While I try to keep the house looking nice and clutter free, it doesn't always happen. We have to learn to give ourselves grace.
Two of my favorite quotes from the book concerning homeschooling:
"Our approach to education, then, should be one that integrates the heart and mind. This embodies true understanding. Our children need to be nurtured, to be raised and trained with all areas of development take into consideration. And this nurturing does not take place only in the preschool years. It is a continual process. Eventually, the need to be nurtured will mature into the need to be disciple and mentored. Our children need individualized attention. Our children need our time if they are to grow in wisdom- that unique blending of the heart and mind."
"To be educated is not merely to have the ability to answer multiple-choice questions on a test. True education is a process of digestions, where knowledge becomes your own as you take information in, ponder it, grapple with it, and separate the truth from the falsehoods. If you really have knowledge, you should be able to translate it to other people. Once you can explain what you know, you are much closer to true understanding. Simple memorization is not enough. The purpose of education is not to harbor facts with our minds, but to comprehend truths. All the memorized facts come to life only as we truly understand them. Ad we understand them only when we become disciplined enough to ponder, to consider, to ask questions."
Both quotes are from Susan Card, author of The Homeschool Journey. I haven't read that book but it just made my summer reading list. :)
There is so much more concerning single-motherhood, home-based business and other things in her book but I told myself I would stick with what spoke most to me.
I cannot convey how encouraging and inspirational this book has been. I highly recommend it!
Thanks Apologia for this opportunity and thank you Mary Jo Tate for the amazing book I will refer back to again and again!Click the banner below to read more Crew Reviews about
Flourish: Balance for Homeschool Moms
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