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It is my belief that as women, we too often beat ourselves up for not being the perfect wife or magazine perfect mom. We compare ourselves to the pastor's wife who is always completely put together with matching jewelry and coordinating clothes and of course, a smile on her face. Lately, I have received a number of compliments that have blown me away. Several people have spoken highly of my organizational skills. That surprised me, greatly. Most days, I consider myself an unorganized schmuck. However, those people who spoke nicely of me didn't see my house after my being sick for three days. They don't see me ranting at the kids for AGAIN giving the babies cups without stoppers in them. Nor have they seen my (large walk-in) bedroom closet that at one point, *ahem* we couldn't even walk into. I once read that we compare our behind-the-scenes with other peoples' highlights. How true is that? I wrote the following on Facebook on my marriage anniversary first because it serves as a kind of testimony and second because I know a lot of struggling marriages out that might get some hope from hearing this. So.. here it is..
In the past three years I have changed tremendously! My thoughts, actions, words and habits have all changed for the better. Our marriage started out pretty rocky. I was pregnant for nearly two years straight ,and Ray went from a party of one to a family guy with four kids in a blink of an eye. There was a period time when I would pray, "Lord, please change him." Don't get me wrong, Ray is a fantastic husband and father. The problem wasn't him- it was me. I struggled with submission to my own husband. I didn't want to do what he thought was right if I "knew" something better. Desperate for help in our marriage, I began reading a book called Created to be His Helpmeet by Debi Pearl. I learned to submit to my husband no matter what. Ephesians 5:24 says we (wives) are to submit to our husbands in everything. Not just when we want to, not just when we agree but in EVERYTHING. That was a huge struggle for me. But! I know that God's word is true and favor with Him can only be found in living out His word- all of it, not just the easy parts. So for months I slowly changed me from the inside out. Who am I kidding? I didn't change me, God changed me. I learned to reverence and respect my husband in EVERYTHING. I learned to bite my tongue, accept his ideas, and keep the house clean- all things I struggled with. Soon, I began taking joy in submitting to him. It became easier and now is natural. When we (wives) submit to our husband, not only are we doing right by our men but we are doing right and honoring God in the process. God blesses that!!! Our marriage is proof. Today, we are happier and more in love than ever before. I praise God for giving me Ray, the grace to change and the wisdom to know how.
It is my belief that as women, we too often beat ourselves up for not being the perfect wife or magazine perfect mom. We compare ourselves to the pastor's wife who is always completely put together with matching jewelry and coordinating clothes and of course, a smile on her face. Lately, I have received a number of compliments that have blown me away. Several people have spoken highly of my organizational skills. That surprised me, greatly. Most days, I consider myself an unorganized schmuck. However, those people who spoke nicely of me didn't see my house after my being sick for three days. They don't see me ranting at the kids for AGAIN giving the babies cups without stoppers in them. Nor have they seen my (large walk-in) bedroom closet that at one point, *ahem* we couldn't even walk into. I once read that we compare our behind-the-scenes with other peoples' highlights. How true is that? I wrote the following on Facebook on my marriage anniversary first because it serves as a kind of testimony and second because I know a lot of struggling marriages out that might get some hope from hearing this. So.. here it is..
In the past three years I have changed tremendously! My thoughts, actions, words and habits have all changed for the better. Our marriage started out pretty rocky. I was pregnant for nearly two years straight ,and Ray went from a party of one to a family guy with four kids in a blink of an eye. There was a period time when I would pray, "Lord, please change him." Don't get me wrong, Ray is a fantastic husband and father. The problem wasn't him- it was me. I struggled with submission to my own husband. I didn't want to do what he thought was right if I "knew" something better. Desperate for help in our marriage, I began reading a book called Created to be His Helpmeet by Debi Pearl. I learned to submit to my husband no matter what. Ephesians 5:24 says we (wives) are to submit to our husbands in everything. Not just when we want to, not just when we agree but in EVERYTHING. That was a huge struggle for me. But! I know that God's word is true and favor with Him can only be found in living out His word- all of it, not just the easy parts. So for months I slowly changed me from the inside out. Who am I kidding? I didn't change me, God changed me. I learned to reverence and respect my husband in EVERYTHING. I learned to bite my tongue, accept his ideas, and keep the house clean- all things I struggled with. Soon, I began taking joy in submitting to him. It became easier and now is natural. When we (wives) submit to our husband, not only are we doing right by our men but we are doing right and honoring God in the process. God blesses that!!! Our marriage is proof. Today, we are happier and more in love than ever before. I praise God for giving me Ray, the grace to change and the wisdom to know how.
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