It has been a while

Please forgive my absence. Life has I knew it has ceased to exist and it has taken a bit of time for me to function even semi-normally.

Two weeks ago I woke up, went about my day as usual and attended a ladies function at church that evening. Just before bed my life changed. Things I was sure of were suddenly ripped away. My confidence in my marriage, plans of growing old with my husband, plans of grandbabies and everything else in my plan vanished in a moment.

My husband left.

Because of the circumstances of his departure, I am not able to speak to him. I haven't suffered the death of a spouse but I imagine this is kind of what it feels like.

I cannot concentrate on anything. My love of cooking, baking, reading and everything else I enjoy have come to a screeching halt. It seems like I spend hours just staring and thinking. I honestly don't know how people go through this without God. I cry frequently but it's a different kind of cry- it's deep and painful. I know God hears my cries and sees my tears. He hears my prayers. He knows the pain I am going through and sees my heart. The promises of God are literally all I am standing on. I don't have the strength to get through this; it is His strength that keeps me going. I have lost faith in so many things but my God is worthy and unchanging.

I have been reading 1 Peter 3:12-17 over and over. It brings great comfort.

For the eyes of the Lord are over the righteous, and his ears are open unto their prayers: but the face of the Lord is against them that do evil.
And who is he that will harm you, if ye be followers of that which is good?
But and if ye suffer for righteousness' sake, happy are ye: and be not afraid of their terror, neither be troubled;
But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear:
Having a good conscience; that, whereas they speak evil of you, as of evildoers, they may be ashamed that falsely accuse your good conversation in Christ.
For it is better, if the will of God be so, that ye suffer for well doing, than for evil doing. 

The Bible promises that He will work everything to my good. I believe that.

For whatever reason, our lives have changed. Maybe God is pruning my life? Maybe this happening is preventing something much worse from taking place? Maybe this storm is readying the kids or I for some kind of ministry? His thoughts and ways are above my own. I trust our future is in His hands. I have faith that God will keep us close. He will hid us in the cleft of the rock. The kids and I have and will continue to draw nearer to God than ever before.

I praise God for His foresight. There are things in my life that only He could have orchestrated.
I will close with something that was said to me recently...

"Things aren't falling apart, they're falling into place."